1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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