You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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