We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
