yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
