So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
