Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
