Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
