rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
