How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
