THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
