I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
