Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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