My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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