I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
