That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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