I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
