The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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