i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
