She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Can Purell be used as lube?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
