so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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