You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
