then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
