Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
