I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
