I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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