redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
