Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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