what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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