That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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