i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
