party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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