Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
