She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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