you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
