speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
