HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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