Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
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