God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
