Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
