real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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