All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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