How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
