You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
