My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
