where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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