Kiss
Puke
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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