I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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