ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
