Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
