I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
